


Come to Find a Refuge

by MorganEilish



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blindfolds, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Choking, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Exhibitionism, F/M, Fisting, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Kink Negotiation, Knitting, M/M, Masturbation, Past Sexual Abuse, Praise Kink, Under-negotiated Kink, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Verbal Humiliation, spinning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-03-16 10:58:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13634901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganEilish/pseuds/MorganEilish
Summary: Fjord couldn’t say why they chose him, but he was happy they did. He liked taking care of people, liked helping them. He practically raised his little sisters when his ma was out working and he missed being relied on for more than a day’s work. But now, practically every night he was woken by a knock on his door and one of his newfound friends standing on the other side. He’d invite them in and sit up against his headboard with his friend leaning back against his chest and soothe them.





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> More tags to be added as I post the remaining chapters.
> 
> Title from [Easy Silence by The Dixie Chicks](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbpFDOhQNBI).

Fjord couldn’t say why they chose him, but he was happy they did. He liked taking care of people, liked helping them. He practically raised his little sisters when his ma was out working and he missed being relied on for more than a day’s work. But now, practically every night he was woken by a knock on his door and one of his newfound friends standing on the other side. He’d invite them in and sit up against his headboard with his friend leaning back against his chest and soothe them.

Caleb liked when he combed his fingers gently through the wizard’s tangled hair. He rarely said much, would never answer questions about what was bothering him, but he usually fell asleep sometime after Fjord got all the knots out. Molly would come in saying he couldn’t sleep and then pass out against him as he methodically massaged the tiefling’s temples. Jester had a lot of energy, even when she was feeling down because she couldn’t feel the presence of her Traveller. Fjord would still sit her down and try to work some of the knots out of her shoulders while she either excitedly rambled about anything that popped into her head or drew wildly inappropriate pictures of their group in her sketchbook.

Nott sometimes came to visit when she really really needed a drink and the tavern was closed for the night or got itchy fingers and needed to steal something. He kept a full flask in his rooms for her and taught her how to knit. She was working on a scarf that she said was for Caleb. She’d work on it while he combed and braided her hair, helping her out when she got stuck. When she fell asleep, he’d hide her knitting away so Caleb would be surprised and carry her back to Caleb’s room so he didn’t panic when he woke up with her gone.

Beau came by rarely. Once she let him do her hair, but mostly she didn’t want to be touched. He reckoned she wasn’t really interested in the menfolk. She didn’t share anything about herself, just lay down on one side of his bed and fell asleep. She was always gone by morning. Yasha only knocked on his door once and then apologized and ran back to her room when he opened it. He put pants on and followed her, knocking on her door, but she just kept apologizing and telling him she was fine and he could go back to bed. He made sure she understood his door was always open and went back to his room. He hoped that whatever was bothering her would sort itself out.

Some of them just wanted to be around another person. Some of them just needed someone to hold them and say everything would be alright. That’s where it always started. But a few of them needed more than that, and he was more than happy to give. He never pushed for anything more than they were willing to ask for, and honestly the first time one of them came on to him, he was taken aback. He hadn’t even considered, but once it was on offer, well he’d have been lying if he said he wasn’t interested.


	2. Caleb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was woken by a knock on his door. A look out the window told him it wasn’t even close to morning yet so he wrapped one of the bedsheets around his waist and opened the door a crack. Caleb stood on the other side, not meeting his gaze and twitching nervously.

He was woken by a knock on his door. A look out the window told him it wasn’t even close to morning yet so he wrapped one of the bedsheets around his waist and opened the door a crack. Caleb stood on the other side, not meeting his gaze and twitching nervously. His eyes were rimmed in red and bloodshot. His mouth opened and closed a few times as if he wanted to say something but didn’t know how to. Finally he just let out a sigh and deflated.

Fjord stepped back and gestured for him to come in, closing the door behind him. Caleb removed his filthy road coat and hung it on the back of the door. Fjord had a no dirty clothes or cats in his bed policy. Then he shrugged out of the holster he’d made for his books and gently placed them on the bedside table. While Caleb was occupied with that, Fjord slipped into a pair of clean pants and sat down on the bed.

Caleb joined him, having folded his shirt and set it on top of his books. Fjord gestured for him to settle between his legs like usual, trying not to stare at his friend’s half naked body, refusing to notice the soft looking patch of red hair on his chest or the way it trailed over his flat stomach and into his trousers. Caleb normally left his shirt on.

“Is- are you-“ Caleb’s face flushed and he gestured to his chest.

“Well I reckon if I can be shirtless, then so can you,” Fjord responded to the half asked question and flashed Caleb a grin. “Now, come here.”

Caleb nodded, looking up at him. Fjord figured he must be imagining things because it almost seemed like Caleb might be checking him out. He dismissed the thought soon as he had it and waited for the wizard to settle against him.

He wrapped his arms around him, holding him close and talking to him softly. Caleb let his eyes close and leaned his head on Fjord’s shoulder. Fjord wrapped his arms around him, gently rocking him and made soft, soothing sounds. He began combing his fingers through the wizard’s hair and took the opportunity to admire Caleb’s body while he had his eyes closed.

Caleb was thin, though not as skeletal as he was when he first joined them. Fjord had seen to that right away. And he was much cleaner than he was when they’d met. He wasn’t nearly as muscular as other members of the group, but his body looked like it fit him. He was pale and pink. Fjord was fascinated by the way his skin changed colour when he was feeling embarrassed or shy.

Fjord’s fingers caught on a particularly stubborn snarl and even though he was moving all slow and gentle like, it tugged Caleb’s scalp. Caleb let out a small sound that painted vivid images of the two of them in Fjord’s mind and went straight to his groin. Fjord tried his best to ignore it and pretend it didn’t happen, hoping Caleb didn’t feel his now half hard cock against his back.

Caleb moaned again when he hit another snarl a few moments later and this time shifted his hips. Fjord stopped what he was doing and moved his hand to Caleb’s jaw to tilt his head back so he could see his face. Caleb jerked his head so Fjords hand was around his neck and sighed,settling back into him. His eyes dropped shut and he moaned a third time.

He looked positively obscene like that. His normally already pink skin was flushed and he was practically panting, his mouth open, lips shiny, head tilted back. Fjord was so distracted by the view and what it was doing to him that it took a moment for him to understand what Caleb wanted. He caught on quickly enough though.

“That what you want then?” he let his voice drop low and bent to speak right into Caleb’s ear. “You want my hand around your throat? Does that turn you on?”

Caleb didn’t say anything in response, not that Fjord expected him to. But his face turned bright red and he bit his lip, giving a slight nod. Fjord took that as permission, though he reckoned Caleb putting his neck in his hand was probably meant to be taken as consent as well. He moved Caleb by the neck and bent over him so he could claim his mouth, revelling in the way it made the redhead shiver in his arms.

Caleb kissed back, but otherwise sunk boneless into Fjord’s embrace. It felt like he was melting into his chest. Fjord explored his mouth thoroughly, gently nibbling on his lips while putting the slightest amount of pressure on the sides of the wizard’s neck. When Caleb let out a gasp and started lazily rolling his hips, Fjord slipped his tongue in.

He let the hand that wasn’t around Caleb’s neck wander. Slid it through the soft hair on his chest. He let it trail slowly down to tease at the waistband of his trousers. He broke their kiss to admire the small man in his arms, the way he completely let go, let all his defences down. It wasn’t lost on Fjord just how much trust was given to him. He hoped he deserved it.

Caleb arched towards him, chasing his lips and Fjord tightened his hand around his neck for a moment before loosening it and letting it just rest there. A broken moan escaped Caleb’s mouth and he fell limp again.

“Do you want to be good for me tonight?” Fjord asked him.

Caleb rolled his hips and moaned at the question before opening his eyes to look at Fjord. He nodded.

“Good,” Fjord said. “Can you tell me what you want?”

Caleb shifted his gaze away and started moving his fingers through his hair, obsessively pushing it back from his face. Fjord removed his hand from Caleb’s neck and sat patiently, waiting for an answer. His response was a long time coming and he was starting to think that maybe tonight was a non-verbal night, not ideal for a first time, but he knew he could get through a basic discussion of wants and limits by listing things and asking if Caleb was interested in doing any of them.

“Can- can you fuck me?” Caleb finally asked, still refusing to look at Fjord.

Fjord smiled at him, trying to ignore the way his cock twitched at the request. “If that’s what you want,” he said. “You’re being so good for me. Is there anything you don’t want me to do? Anything off limits?”

“Please don’t hurt me,” Caleb’s voice sounded small and scared. He began to tense in Fjord’s arms, a memory of a previous lover, Fjord assumed. He had half a mind to take his falchion to whoever had hurt Caleb in the past.

Fjord combed his fingers through Caleb’s hair, “Shhhh shhhh shhh it’s okay,” he said softly. “I won’t hurt you. It’s ok.”

Caleb began to slowly relax again. Fjord continued stroking his hair until Caleb was almost as relaxed as he was when they were kissing.

“Can you promise to tell me if I do anything you don’t like or that makes you uncomfortable?” Fjord asked him.

When Caleb nodded, Fjord thanked him for being good and then let his hand settle back around the wizard’s throat for a few moments. He kissed him again, undoing Caleb’s belt with his other hand. Then he lifted Caleb off his lap, smiling at the wizard’s reaction to being manhandled, and lay him down on his back.

He gently peeled Caleb’s trousers off and looked him over appreciatively. Caleb’s cock jutted out from a nest of bright red curls, hard and thick, already dripping precome. Fjord licked his lips wanting nothing more than to take him in his mouth and tease him until he begged to come down Fjord’s throat. But that wasn’t what Caleb asked for, so he figured he could save that for another night, if there was one.

Caleb’s arms were stretched above his head. He rolled his hips, absently looking for friction and pouted when Fjord didn’t immediately give it to him.

“Patience, gorgeous,” Fjord gently chastised him.

Caleb rolled onto his stomach and spread his legs, whimpering. Fjord ran his fingers down the redhead’s spine and smiled when he shivered. He would’ve preferred to have Caleb on his back so he could see his face, but if his friend was more comfortable like this, he was fine with it. He lifted Caleb’s hips and set a rolled up pillow under them so he had a better angle, pressing a gentle kiss into Caleb’s ass.

He coated his fingers in oil and slid them into the cleft of Caleb’s ass a few times before gently massaging his entrance. Caleb’s sounds grew needier and he tried to press down against Fjord’s fingers. Fjord moved away each time he did.

He teased Caleb mercilessly, telling him what a good boy he was and how good it was gonna feel when he filled him. Then finally, when Caleb relaxed, he pressed a finger slowly into his tight hole. Caleb’s shoulders tensed and he arched his back, gasping and rolling his hips. Fjord pressed his other hand into Caleb’s lower back to still him.

“Shhhh shhh shhh,” he whispered, bending to press kisses between Caleb’s shoulder blades. “Just let me take care of you darlin’.”

Caleb nodded, panting. Fjord shallowly thrust his finger in and out until he felt relaxed enough to add a second. Scissoring him open drew a strangled cry from Caleb who turned his head back into the sheets to muffle it. Fjord teased his prostate earning himself another strangled cry and a full body shudder.

Eventually the slow teasing began testing Fjord’s patience. His cock strained against the front of his trousers painfully. He slipped his fingers out of Caleb who whimpered in protest.

“Be good for me and I’ll fill you with something better,” Fjord said as he quickly removed his pants.

He took some of the oil and slicked himself up, before gripping Caleb’s hips and slowly pressing into him. He moved at a snail’s pace, both needing to get himself under control and wanting to further tease Caleb who was gasping and moaning under him.

When he was finally fully seated, he lowered himself so his chest was pressed against Caleb’s back, his whole body covered by Fjord. He used one arm to balance himself so he didn’t crush the small wizard and the other snaked under Caleb’s chest to wrap around his throat again. All remaining tension left Caleb’s body and he whimpered softly.

“Is this okay?” Fjord asked him.

Caleb nodded and gasped as Fjord slowly rolled his hips.

Fjord tightened his grip on Caleb’s throat, putting pressure on the sides of his neck and the wizard cried out loudly. At the same time he snapped his hips once, thrusting quickly. He felt Caleb clench around him and groaned into his shoulder.

“Fuck you feel so good,” he said. His voice sounded like gravel in his ears. He took Caleb’s hands in his and held his wrists tightly in the hand he was using to balance himself.

Caleb gave his wrists a gentle tug and when they didn’t immediately slip from Fjord’s grasp, his breath hitched and he rolled his hips. Fjord went back to thrusting shallowly, only pulling out an inch at the most before pushing back into Caleb’s tight heat.

“Like that?” Fjord asked. “Like being held down? Like my weight pinning you to my bed?” He nipped at Caleb’s earlobe, sucking it into his mouth and running his tongue over it.

“Please,” Caleb whimpered so softly that Fjord almost missed it. “Please. More.”

Fjord didn’t speed up at Caleb’s request, but he starting pulling out further before thrusting back in and he further tightened his grip on the wizard’s throat. He wanted to watch him come apart slowly, and from the way Caleb was shaking and moaning under him, he was getting close. The change in pace did him in, and quickly. Caleb cried out and clenched around Fjord’s cock, shuddering. Fjord could feel the muscles in Caleb’s back tense and release under him. He wasn’t far behind, spilling into Caleb as the wizard came down.

He caught his breath and eased up, releasing Caleb’s wrists and throat. Caleb shuddered again when his softening cock slipped out of him. Fjord pressed soft kisses down his back, smiling as Caleb hummed. He still wanted. He wanted to taste Caleb. Take him in his mouth and suck him until he was hard again. Slide his tongue into his ass and eat him out until he screamed. But Caleb was already melting into the bed, and Fjord would prefer to have a sober discussion of limits with Caleb before going any further.

Instead, he got up and grabbed a cloth and his water skin to clean them both off. Caleb winced a little when he gently washed his cum out of the wizard’s ass. Fjord rolled him over, picking him up to throw the soiled sheets on the floor and then settled them both down on the bed. Caleb tucked himself into Fjord’s side and rested his head on his chest. Fjord pulled a clean blanket over the both of them.

“Thank you,” Caleb whispered. Fjord leaned down and kissed his forehead in response, gently combing his hands through Caleb’s hair until sleep caught them both.

\---

He woke up the next morning spooned against Caleb’s back with his arms wrapped tightly around him. The wizard was still fast asleep, face more relaxed than Fjord had ever seen him. He really was stunning, his bright messy hair falling in his eyes, and a trail of freckles across his cheeks and nose. Fjord watched him begin to wake up, snuffling his nose and stretching his legs. He rolled over and blinked his eyes open.

“Mornin’ gorgeous,” Fjord smiled.

Caleb flushed bright red, “Hi,” he said. “Uh last night?”

Fjord nodded, “We should probably talk about that, huh.”

Caleb sighed and nodded, moving to get up. Fjord reached for his arm, effectively stopping him, though if Caleb had pulled away, he would’ve let go.

“Look,” he started, “if you’re wantin’ this to be a one time thing, that’s totally fine. I won’t mention it to anyone and I won’t push you for more. If you’re thinkin’ you might want to do it again though, I’ll be  wantin’ to have a serious discussion about wants and limits. Doesn’t have to be now, but it will have to happen. I don’t want to cross a line I don’t know exists.”

“I’ll think on it,” Caleb replied after a few minutes.

“Okay,” Fjord said. “Now, would you mind terribly coming back here and cuddlin’ for a few minutes?”

Caleb gifted him a small smile and curled back up against him, sighing when his hands tangled in his hair.


	3. Nott

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you. Just you helped Caleb last night. And I feel jittery. I got itchy fingers and my flask is empty,” Nott shifted her gaze quickly around the room, eyes darting from one thing to the next like mating squirrels in the forest. Her hands twitched and she shifted her weight back and forth.

Tonight Fjord wasn’t woken by a knock on his door. Instead he was woken by his door clicking shut. He summoned his falchion and leapt to his feet, holding it in front of him.

“Ahhh! I’m sorry! Please don’t kill me!” Nott’s frightened voice stopped him in his tracks. She stood cowering with her arms in front of her face, visibly shaking.

He relaxed his shoulders and let his blade fall to his side, sighing “Did you pick my lock?”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you. Just you helped Caleb last night. And I feel jittery. I got itchy fingers and my flask is empty,” Nott shifted her gaze quickly around the room, eyes darting from one thing to the next like mating squirrels in the forest. Her hands twitched and she shifted her weight back and forth.

Fjord sighed again and ran his hand roughly through his hair. “Come on,” he said, dismissing his falchion and gesturing to the bed. “I think I might have a bottle of shitty wine left and I’ve got a few things that might help with itchy fingers.”

He pulled on his pants and started rummaging through his pack. He pulled out the wine, a bundle of undyed yarn and some knitting needles. He handed Nott the wine first and settled against his headboard to cast on a row of stitches.

Nott watched him while she chugged the wine, seemingly fascinated with what he was doing. He knit a couple rows and when she set the bottle down, he motioned for her to sit on his lap. She hesitated a moment and then crawled into his crossed legs when he promised again that he wasn’t going to kill her.

“I have my shortsword on me,” she warned him.

“Good to know,” he responded. “Though I feel a need to point out that it was you who broke into my room. You know how to knit?” he handed her the needles.

“No.”

“I’ll show you,” he said. “It’s easy.”

He leaned over her and showed her slowly how to make a stitch. Then he let her try. She was clumsy at it, but then his sisters had been when he showed them. And his first project was a disaster.

Once she started to get the hang of it, he leaned to grab his comb off the bedside table and started gently coaxing the tangles out of her hair. She didn’t say anything about it and he was very careful not to pull too hard.

“What am I making?” She asked him after a while.

He shrugged, “Sometimes it’s more about the makin’ than the what.” She didn’t look particularly satisfied with the answer so he added, “I suppose you could make a scarf. I’ll have to spin you more yarn, but that’ll give me something to keep my fingers from itching.”

He’d been planning on dyeing the yarn and either selling it as is or knitting up a few items to make a little coin for the group. Jester was overextended trying to keep everyone alive in a fight. They could use more healing potions. He doubted a few crafted items would sell for much, but it was better than nothing.

She gave her work a ponderous look and then smiled, “Caleb might like a new scarf. I can make it for him.”

“A mighty fine plan,” Fjord said. He let the comb pass through her finally knot free hair a few times, just to make sure and began sectioning off the crown to plait it before realizing he didn’t have a string to tie it off with.

“Hang on a minute,” he told Nott, lifting her off his lap so he could retrieve some string, some carded wool, and his drop spindle. He settled back down and placed her back in his lap. Then he re-sectioned off the top of her hair to begin neatly french braiding it down the back. She held still, focused on her knitting, and let him work.

Once he tied her hair off, he began spinning more yarn for her, dropping the spindle into his lap beside her and letting the weight pull and twist the fibres. He carefully wrapped up the spun yarn and drew more loose fibres from the bag. After a few passes, he noticed Nott staring at him.

“Where’d you learn that?” she asked.

He shrugged, “Just somethin’ I picked up.”

She cocked her head and continued her staring. “You knit, and spin,” she finally said, slower than she usually spoke, “what else can you do? Sew? Weave? Tat lace?”

“I can mend clothes, but that’s as far as my sewin’ skills go. Weavin’ isn’t as portable, though I suppose if I had a tablet loom, maybe it could be. And I was always better at bobbin lace than tattin’. But that tends to get tangled on the road.”

She blinked at him in surprise and looked back down at her knitting. It had a few holes in it where she dropped stitches and had gotten wider towards the top. She made a frustrated sound.

“Do you think he’ll mind if it’s all skinky dooty?” She pointed at the holes.

Fjord put down his spinning and took a look at the scarf. “Nott I think you could give him a half cooked chicken and he’d love it. But if you count your stitches each row to make sure there’s exactly 30, that might help.”

“What if there’s more?”

Fjord took the work from her hands and showed her how to decrease stitches. She moved to pull the yarn off the needles so she could start over but he stopped her.

“Don’t worry about how it looks. First projects always have more character,” he said. She nodded and continued her work quietly.

“He cries sometimes,” she said.

Fjord stopped spinning again and looked down at her, “Caleb?”

She nodded, “I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t like when he’s sad. He was sad last night. You fixed him. How’d you do that?”

Fjord was silent for a while. Caleb had looked like he might have been crying when he knocked on Fjord’s door but Fjord didn’t ask. Most of the party didn’t respond well to personal questions, so he figured if they wanted him to know something, they’d tell him. Didn’t make him any less concerned, mind, but it made for less flighty friends.

“Tell you what,” he said, “next time that happens, you come get me and I’ll see if I can help. Sound good?”

Nott nodded and then yawned, stretching her spine and leaning into Fjord’s chest and rubbing her eyes. “Can you keep Caleb’s scarf here?” She asked him.

“Of course,” he said, but she was already asleep. He cradled her in one arm and gathered up their crafting implements with the other to clear the bed for sleeping. She tucked her head into his neck and grumbled when he moved her but didn’t wake up.

As he was about to tuck her in, he was interrupted by a knock on his door. He opened it, Nott balanced on his hip snoring gently in his arms. Caleb stood in his doorway scratching his head and looking worried.

“Have you seen- oh thank the gods!” Caleb interrupted himself.

“She just fell asleep,” Fjord said,rocking her gently like she was a small child instead of a probably adult goblin. “Want her in your rooms?”

“I’ve got wards set up in case she gets itchy,” Caleb said as he reached out to take her off Fjord’s hands.

“Oh I don’t mind carrying her,” Fjord said.

Truth be told it reminded him of when his sisters were young. They’d wake him when they had a nightmare and he’d comb their hair, tell them stories, pace around their tiny hovel rocking them until they fell asleep again. It felt like practically a lifetime ago. He missed them now. He still sent letters and money home but he hadn’t seen them since he was offered a job with a crew of merchant sailors over ten years back. He would’ve returned, but after the wreck, the thought of stepping foot on a ship again left him shaking, so instead he stayed on land picking up whatever work he could find to save up tuition to attend the Academy and hopefully send a bit more home.

He followed Caleb to his and Nott’s room and gently laid her down in the bed, tucking her in. Caleb motioned for him to follow him into the hall.

“She break into your rooms?” He asked. Fjord nodded, smiling.

“Almost attacked her,” he said. “But we’re alright.”

Caleb shook his head smiling and placed a hand in Fjord’s, “You’d make a good father, you know.”

Fjord looked at his hands. He knew he would. He’d raised 2 little girls before he was 18. He thought about saying that. He thought about telling Caleb that he was looking after them for purely selfish reasons, that it reminded him of his family. That he needed to take care of people as much, if not more than they needed taking care of. But he decided against it and settled for thanking him instead.

Caleb looked like he was going to push the issue for a moment but instead asked, “How did you get her to sit still long enough to untangle her hair?”

Fjord shrugged, “Most of a bottle of terrible wine and some quiet conversation.” He didn’t want to tell Caleb that she’d been distracted by the knitting. He figured she’d want to surprise him with it when it was finished.

“It looks lovely like that.”

Fjord nodded, giving a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Caleb placed a hand on Fjord’s bicep and gave him a brief look of concern. “If you want to talk,” the wizard let the rest of the offer hang in the space between them.

“Did you want to talk?” he asked, looking into Caleb’s eyes. They were as beautiful as the rest of him, such a pale blue. Everything about the man, aside from his bright hair, was so light it was practically transparent. It was both concerning and fascinating.

Caleb flushed a little and looked down, removing his hand from Fjord’s arm, “I- That’s not a conversation I know how to have.”

Fjord had been with a lot of people before who didn’t discuss sex. It was a pretty taboo topic most places. Most people did it, no one wanted to talk about what they’d done. He was pretty used to that response and was practiced at making his partner feel safe and comfortable enough to talk about what they liked and what they were not okay with doing.

“No pressure,” Fjord said shrugging, “but if you want.” He kept his voice casual so as not to spook Caleb.

Caleb just nodded, “Maybe not in the hallway though?”

Fjord invited Caleb back to his room and took the chair from his desk, moving it to face the bed. Caleb stood awkwardly in the door, fidgeting with his hands and watching Fjord. He gestured for the wizard to sit on the bed.

“How do we do this?” Caleb asked.

“Well,” Fjord leaned forward and took one of Caleb’s hands in his, “we can start with talkin’ about what both of us want from this arrangement. Or we can start by talkin’ about what happened last night. But I want you to know first, that I will not judge you for anythin’ you tell me and nothin’ either of us say tonight will leave this room.”

Caleb looked thoughtful for a minute and then very softly said, “Last night I asked you to fuck me.”

“You did,” Fjord said. “I have to say, that was not where I was expectin’ my night to go, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.”

“I did too,” Caleb’s soft smile pushed wrinkles out from the corners of his eyes. Fjord wanted to reach out and softly trace them with his fingers but kept his hands in Caleb’s.

“Was there anythin’ we did that you didn’t like or that made you uncomfortable?” Fjord asked.

Caleb shook his head, “You pulled me out of my head, but you were gentle about it. I’m not used to that.”

Fjord frowned, “I don’t mean to pry, but you told me you didn’t want me to hurt you and you seemed mighty panicked at the thought. Do people usually hurt you?”

Caleb deflated a little at the question. His shoulders curled inwards and he stared at nothing in particular. “Yeah,” he said, his voice small again. He shrugged, “It’s not that big a deal though.”

Fjord took a couple deep breaths to reign in his anger at those who took advantage of Caleb’s submission. It seemed pretty clear that Caleb didn’t really want to go into it based on the way he tried to casually brush it aside like it was no big deal. Fjord suspected it was a bigger deal than the wizard was trying to let on. He let it go though. If Caleb wanted to share, he would. Instead he mentioned that he’d noticed that Caleb was pretty non-verbal and suggested they come up with a signal to use if Caleb needs things to stop but doesn’t feel up to using his words. They settled on Caleb snapping his fingers or tapping his hand against the nearest flat surface.

“I suppose this would be a good time for me to mention that playin’ with the idea of non-consent is one of my limits,” Fjord said. “I won’t do it. If you tell me no, stop, don’t, wait, or anythin’ else that could be taken as you not wanting to do somethin’, I will stop what I am doing.”

“Got it,” Caleb said.

“Is there anythin’ else you’re not okay with doing?” Fjord asking him. “Aside from receiving pain?”

“I don’t like being called names,” Caleb said. “And I’m not much good at taking charge.”

Fjord smiled, “That I don’t mind. I like taking care of my partners.”

Caleb’s brows drew together at that and very slowly he said, “Right now, I don’t think I’m in a good place for a relationship.”

“That was somethin’ I wanted to discuss too,” Fjord said. “I suspect I’m in the same boat. Way I see it though, if you’re wantin’ sex, I’m happy to give it to you, however you need. If you’re just wantin’ me to sit and comb your hair like usual, I’m happy to do that as well. You just gotta tell me what you’re wantin’. And if you want to do this with others, that’s fine with me too.”

Caleb relaxed and nodded, “Can I sleep here tonight?”

Fjord smiled and nodded. Caleb slipped his hands out of Fjord’s and began stripping methodically, stopping when he got to his small clothes. Fjord watched him a moment before doing the same and following him into the bed, dousing the candles before spooning against Caleb’s back.

“You know,” he said, “I’d be mighty interested to know what specifically you do like.” He traced a finger lightly over Caleb’s shoulder. “I have more than a few ideas, but it’d be good to have some confirmation.”

Caleb let out a soft sigh, “You first?” he asked.

Fjord knew it was more than a little unfair of him to have this conversation pressed up against Caleb this way. And that it was especially unfair of him to let his voice drop and octave and turn to gravel and honey and speak it right into Caleb’s ear. But he’d made it clear that Caleb could easily stop him at any time, so he did it anyways.

“Well,” he said, “I like to take my partner apart slowly. I like watching them surrender, and I like holding them down and teasing until they beg for mercy. And I particularly liked how boneless you got when I choked you last night.”

His words had the desired effect. Caleb’s breath hitched and he shifted to try to press himself closer to Fjord. Fjord pressed a kiss to his shoulder and let his hand slid posessively up Caleb’s chest to rest at his throat.

“I liked the sounds you made when I accidentally pulled your hair and I’d bet you’d make even better ones with my mouth around your cock or my tongue in your ass.”

“Fuck,” Caleb whimpered, grinding back against him now. “That sounds so good.”

Fjord turned him over and pressed a bruising kiss to his lips, giving him a taste of what he could expect from the rest of the night. Caleb reached up and gripped the back of his neck, holding him there.


	4. Jester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He opened his door and blinked the sleep from his eyes only to clap a hand over them. Jester stood in the hall holding her sketchbook without a stitch on. He blindly reached for her arm to pull her out of the corridor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the wait. I typically do most of my writing on my breaks at work unless it's smut (because one has to draw the line somewhere) but I started a Jester cosplay for Toronto Comicon and have been working on that after work instead of writing.

Caleb wasn’t the only one Fjord wound up having some kind of arrangement with, and everyone knew it. Jester every so often would show up at his door completely naked, her way of indicating she wanted more than a chat and a shoulder rub he reckoned. And Molly had offered once, but then promptly fell asleep. Fjord decided to let it sit until Molly brought it up again. That was a conversation for if and when he was ready to have it.

\---

He opened his door and blinked the sleep from his eyes only to clap a hand over them. Jester stood in the hall holding her sketchbook without a stitch on. He blindly reached for her arm to pull her out of the corridor.

“Eh oh eh!” she said cheerfully.

“Get in here!” his voice sounded sharp and exasperated.

He shut the door behind her and stood facing it to avoid staring at her. He heard her flop down on his bed and he started roughly combing his hair back from his face.

“Jester,” he finally said calmly, “what happened to your clothes?”

“Nothing happened to them,” she said like it was a silly question to ask.

He sighed, “Then why are you not wearing them?”

“You’re not wearing yours either.”

“I was sleeping,” he said, “not wandering the halls.”

Jester laughed, “Please, you know someone’s gonna come see you at night. If you were really bothered by naked people, you’d wear pyjamas. Are you gonna stop being silly and look at me now?”

Fjord let his head fall forward so it was pressed against the door and sighed again. He wanted to stare at her, and she was explicitly inviting him to, but it still felt like such an impolite thing to do. Of course so was turning up at someone’s door in the middle of the night completely naked. She had a point though and he probably should’ve seen this coming. Between his habit of answering the door wearing nothing but a bedsheet slung over his hips almost every night and her habits of calling him handsome and drawing dirty pictures in her sketchbook when she knew he could see, frankly it was surprising this didn’t happen sooner.

He turned around and looked her in the eye, “Jester you can’t just walk around the tavern without your clothes on.”

She wrinkled her eyebrows, “Technically I just did. Technically.”

“What if someone saw you and decided to be less than gentlemanly about it?”

She stood up and walked towards him, backing him against the door. It took everything in him to keep looking only at her face. He kept his hands flat against the door even though they itched to grab ahold of her hips and pull her flush against him. He tried to ignore the softness of her belly, the fullness of her hips, the certainty that she could crush his skull between her thighs if she wanted to. When she was barely an inch away, she produced her sickle and set it threateningly under his jaw. “Then I suppose that’s their problem,” she said.

“I don’t even want to know where you were keeping that, but fair point,” he said. “Okay fine. Why did you knock on my door naked?”

She skipped backwards and tossed herself on his bed again, landing cross legged. Her hair flopped in her eyes and he made a point of not noticing the way her breasts jiggled or the trail of freckles that decorated the tops of them. Her tail flicked back and forth behind her.

“You’re good with your hands,” she shrugged. “I thought we could have sex.”

“Merciful Sarenrae,” he cursed and dragged his hand through his hair again. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, because God’s did he want to take her. But he was so taken aback by how casual she was about it. He’d admit he wasn’t the most proper gentleman, he did sleep nude even though he more often than not wound up entertaining company. And he’d passingly entertained more than a few improper thoughts about his party members. But he always viewed sex as, not exactly sacred, that seemed too strong a word, but definitely something to be discussed first.

“What? Is not like I am asking you for marriage. Is just sex,” she said as she leaned back on her elbows and uncrossed her legs. He grabbed the blanket from the end of the bed and covered her.

“Okay, but we talk first,” he said, and he sat down by the headboard.

She pouted, but gathered the blanket around herself and clambered up the bed, flopping cross legged in front of him.

“What do we talk about?” She asked, looking up at him with her bright purple eyes. The sheet wasn’t doing much to cover her at all, but he pointedly ignored the way her breasts were almost falling out the top of it.

“What specifically do you want tonight?”

“I already told you,” she rolled her eyes.

“You told me you want sex,” he said patiently. “There are hundreds of ways to do that. How specifically did you picture this going?”

“You want to see my pictures?” Jester stopped bouncing for a moment and looked thoughtful. Then she pulled out her sketchbook and began flipping through the pages.

“That’s not what I meant,” Fjord tried to tell her, but it was Jester.

“I drew pictures,” she said cheerfully. She found the page she’d been looking for and handed it over to Fjord. He studied in a moment, trying to keep a straight face before flipping to the next page.

Some of the drawings he’d seen before. Some of them were new. Every single one of them was explicit. There were sketches of Beau and Yasha making out nude, of Molly touching himself, of Caleb tied to the bed- and wasn’t that an idea worth discussing with him later. They were all hyper realistic and incredibly detailed.

“Jester these, uh, sure are somethin’,” he said, eyebrows raised. He’d be lying if he said they had no effect on him. “Do me a favour though and please never show this to anyone. And don’t lose it either. Please.”

She rolled her eyes and took the book, flipping it back to the page she’d handed him. It had pictures of him fucking a short haired tiefling girl in a number of different ways. She was on her knees with her mouth around him. She was riding his face. She was under him, on top of him, on her hands and knees in front of him. She was grinning in every single picture.

“I have so many questions and I’m feelin’ like I won’t like hearin’ the answer to any of them,” he said, “but why did you draw these?”

She shrugged, “Because I wanted to.”

“Fair enough. I mean it though, do not lose this book.”

Jester leaned in closer to him, “Are we done the talking now?”

“I have more questions first,” Fjord said. “But, if you can be good for me, I promise I’ll make it more than worth the wait. Does that sound reasonable?” He would’ve loved to be done with talking. He would’ve loved to just skip ahead to doing some of the things in her drawings. But he made himself wait.

Jester gave him a look that could only be described as hungry, “And if I don’t particularly feel like being good?”

Fjord ran a hand through his hair, choosing his words carefully, “Is that somethin’ you enjoy? Not bein’ good?”

“Uh, duh,” Jester gave him a pointed look.

“And what do you like to happen when you’re not good?” Fjord asked. He could think of a few things to do if she wanted to be difficult, but he needed to know that this was a game she’d enjoy playing.

Jester chewed on her bottom lip and began flipping through her sketchbook again. The drawings she showed him this time were, thankfully, not of anyone in their party. He didn’t recognize any of the people in them and didn’t want to know who they were. But they were doing all manner of things. Some were tied up, blindfolded, bent over furniture, or someone’s lap or kneeling on the floor. They were being treated much rougher than Fjord was usually a fan of doing. When he made his partners cry out, he preferred it to be in pleasure. He understood pain was what did it for some, but it wasn’t his thing.

“I think we should set some limits here maybe,” he said after a few moments. “Things that we each are not okay with doing.”

“Like how you apparently are not okay with having the sex without all the talking apparently?” Jester asked.

Fjord frowned, “Well yes, I suppose you could call that a limit. I prefer to think of it as just a part of gettin’ to know your partners.”

Jester shrugged, “Okay so what is the limits?”

“I’m personally not a big fan of hurtin’ people,” Fjord said and the quickly continued before she could interrupt him. “Now that doesn’t mean that if you want to play at being bad, I won’t do anythin’ about it, if that’s the game you want. It just means that I’m not gonna hurt you.”

Jester thought about it for a moment before her face brightened, “Okay deal. Now can we have the sex?”

“I need you to tell me what you’re not okay with doin’ first,” Fjord said.

“How about if I tell you if you’re doing a thing that I don’t like?” Jester asked.

“Yeah, that’d be good too, but if there’s anythin’ that you know that I should avoid doin’, then if you tell me now, I won’t do it at all.”

Jester was quiet for a while, flipping through her sketchbook back and forth, pausing for a moment here and there and then shaking her head and flipping pages again. After a few minutes of frantically searching through her book she looked up at him with a concerned look and said, “But what if I can’t think of anything?”

Fjord smiled at her gently, “That’s okay. But promise you’ll tell me if you do think of somethin’ or if I do somethin’ you don’t like.”

Jester held up her pinky, a solemn look on her face. He did the same and linked his with hers. She shook their hands vigorously, grinning. “Okay, now can we be done with the talking?”

Fjord smiled and nodded, pulling the sheet he’d covered her with off her naked body and wrapping an arm around her waist. He half lifted, half dragged her so she was straddling his lap, and cradled her jaw with the other hand, pulling her in for a kiss. She was warmer than he was used to. Hot really. And she squirmed in his lap, her giggles quickly turning to whimpers as he deepened the kiss.

He explored her mouth slowly, his hand on her jaw stopping her from moving things along quicker than he wanted, though she tried to. She made impatient little noises and tangled her hands in his hair, rubbing herself against his quickly hardening cock. He tightened the arm around her waist to make it harder for her to move and broke off the kiss.

“Remember how I told you that if you were good for me, I’d make it worthwhile?” he asked, nipping at her neck as he spoke.

“And if I’m not?” she asked with a flash of mischief in her eyes.

“I do have some rope,” he said darkly. “I could tie you up. Tease you. Bring you so close and then refuse to let you come over and over and over. Alternatively I could make you come over and over and over until you’re oversensitive.”

Jester’s eyes closed and she shivered at the images. A small moan escaped her parted lips and he kissed her again, this time bending forward and lowering her onto her back on the bed. She immediately wrapped her legs around his waist and clawed at his back. He flinched in surprise when her tail trailed up the back of his thigh and over his ass. She began to slip it into the sheet he still had wrapped around his waist and he growled, pulling her hands off him and pinning her wrists above her head.

“Last warning,” he said.

Her eyes dropped closed again and she rolled her hips, sucking in a large breath and pushing out her breasts. “I don’t think I feel like being good,” she said, wrapping her tail around where he’d knotted the sheet and tugging it open.

He pulled off her, ignoring her whine of protest and comments on his ass and wandered over to his pack. He unhooked the length of rope he had off the side of it and brought it over to the bed. He arranged her so she was lying on her back in the middle of it and began tying each limb to a corresponding bedpost so she was arranged spread eagle in the centre. By the time he finished, she was breathing hard and he could see how wet she was. He went back to his pack and pulled out a piece of fabric, folding it so it was light tight and tied it around her eyes.

“Think you can be good now?” he asked, kneeling between her legs and running his fingers gently up her sides.

She pulled against her bonds, whimpering and gasping when she couldn’t loosen them. Her whimpers turned to moans as he began exploring her body with his hands.

He skimmed around the sides of her breasts, instead tracing the trail of blue freckles that lead across her shoulders and chest, spattering along her collarbone and the tops of her breasts. He followed his fingers with his lips, pressing gentle kisses along her skin. She began to relax a little under his touch.

He gently cupped her breasts, pinching one of her dark blue nipples between his fingers and sucking the other into his mouth. She arched into his touch and keened, her hands gripping her restraints, her hips grinding against nothing, trying to find some friction. He let her wait it out for a while as he explored every other inch of her body with his hands and mouth.

She was begging him to touch her by the time he was pressing kisses to her inner thigh. She was wet, dripping and he had to hold her hips down to keep her squirming to a minimum. He marveled at the strength of the muscles beneath her soft flesh. After a moment more of teasing, he brought his mouth to her cunt and tasted her.

He closed his eyes a second and moaned before looking up at her from between her legs. She was trying to arch into him, trying to move her hips with his mouth, but he held her firmly. He licked along her slit and sucked her clit into his mouth. She moaned and cried out loudly, not that that surprised him - there really wasn’t anything Jester did quietly.

Her thighs shook on either side of his face and he moaned again at how much she was clearly enjoying his attentions. He slowly slid a finger into her cunt and teased her. She gripped him tightly and cried out again. He worked her with his fingers and tongue until she was shaking and shuddering. He watched as she broke under him, but kept working her.

When she came down, she started to squirm away, oversensitive. He held firm but looked up to ask her if he could continue. She gave him permission, so he did.

\---

“Fjord?” Jester asked after the third time he made her come.

He paused what he was doing and pressed a kiss into her inner thigh, “Yes darlin’?”

“I have decided that I don’t want to be tied up right now,” she said matter of factly.

Fjord smiled, thankful that she told him instead of just assuming he’d eventually get bored and change things up. It would’ve been a long time if she’d waited.

“Okay,” he said, moving to untie her ankle. He massaged the red marks left behind by the rope and stretched the muscles a little bit before moving on to her other leg. He had her wiggle her toes for him and when he was satisfied he did the same with her wrists.

She sat up and pulled off the blindfold immediately squinting in the lamplight, her eyes not used to the brightness. He let her get her bearings, sitting patiently beside her while he waited. She rubbed her eyes and then looked up at him expectantly.

“Are you gonna finish what you started?” She asked.

“Would you like me to?” He answered.

She narrowed her eyes thoughtfully, “Ummmmm what if instead I suck your dick?”

Fjord’s breath caught in his throat. He wanted that. Badly. But he also wanted to make sure she was comfortable and enjoying herself.

“Is that what you want?” he asked. His voice sounded sinful even to his own ears.

Jester smiled and nodded, pushing him so he was lying down on his back and knelt between his legs. “You can hold my horns if you want,” she said brightly. “Some people like doing that.”

“Do you like when people do that?” he asked.

She shrugged, “I like it better than when they pull my hair instead.”

Fjord didn’t get a chance to respond to that because suddenly her lips were wrapped around him and she was taking him in. She bobbed her head, sucking on him and letting her tongue roll around the tip. He clenched his hands in the sheets to keep from grabbing her hair since she’d mentioned not liking that but she grabbed one of them and wrapped it around a horn instead.

She started humming around him and he groaned. It had been a really long time since someone had done this for him. Before this group, he couldn’t really remember how long it had been since he’d been with someone. Ships didn’t offer any privacy and he wasn’t a huge fan of visiting brothels. They didn’t offer the same level of intimacy as being with someone you care for. And when he had been with someone, very rarely did they go down on him. He was much more used to taking his time making sure they got what they needed. In all things he considered his needs to come second. A byproduct of spending your youth raising children he figured.

He’d almost forgotten how good it felt to have someone’s mouth around him. The wet heat and the vibrations from Jester’s voice. He liked being able to gently direct her with her horn, and she happily followed where he pulled her.

He could feel his release start to coil at the base of his spine and it took a lot more effort than he’d like to admit to pull her off. She looked up at him pouting and tried to take him in again.

“If you keep that up, I’ll be done before we can do anythin’ else,” he told her.

Jester laughed, “I am very good.”

“You are,” he agreed. “But if you’re alright with it, I’d very much like to be inside you.”

Jester straddled his legs and positioned herself so she could take him in. He sat up and wrapped his arm around her waist, holding her against him. Her tail moved back and forth slowly and he tucked a loose strand of her messy hair behind her pointed ears. He pulled her mouth in for a kiss and at the same time she lowered herself onto him.

She was hot. So hot. And tight. He pulled back from her lips and closed his eyes, trying to get himself back under control. He wanted to flip them over and pound into her, emptying himself in her heat. But he also wanted her to come around him, and he knew most women needed a bit more than that to do so.

Instead he cradled her neck with the arm he’d firmly wrapped around her back and he trailed kisses along her shoulders. He palmed her breast, teasing the nipple to a sharp peak and then trailed his hand down lower to where their bodies met. Her hands were everywhere. The ran through his short hair, trying to tug on it. They gripped his shoulders and scratched up his back. She held him against her and ground down on him. When his hand pressed against her clit, moaned loudly.

“You feel so good,” he told her, nipping at her earlobe. “Wanna make you come around me.”

“You are doing a very good job,” she said with a grin.

A few moments later, she suddenly went quiet and closed her eyes. She tightened her grip on his shoulders, shaking. Her internal muscles fluttered and tightened around him and her head rolled backwards. He let himself finish as she was coming down, spilling inside her with a groan.

She leaned into him, breathing heavily but otherwise quiet. He rested his forehead against her shoulder to catch his own breath and they stayed in a tight ball with her on his lap for a few minutes.

“I knew you’d be good at this,” she said when she pulled off him.

“You’re good yourself,” he responded. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down with him so they were lying with her head on his chest. He stroked his hand up and down her spine. Aside from the comment, she seemed much quieter and more subdued than she usually was.

“Everythin’ okay?” He asked her after a few minutes.

Jester sighed, “It’s nothing. I’m just tired.”

He looked down at her. It was pretty easy to tell she wasn’t entirely telling the truth. He pressed a kiss into her forehead.

“I’m here if you want to talk about it,” he said softly. He could push her a little more than some of the others. Beau didn’t want to talk and would sometimes walk out if he pried. Caleb gave cagey non-answers. Molly would straight up lie. Jester though was usually a bit more open.

“I miss my mom,” she said, tracing pictures into his chest with her finger. “I thought this would help but it didn’t.”

He tightened his arm around her and tilted her chin up to kiss her softly. “I understand,” he said.

She snuggled into his side and started to cry. For the first time he wondered if her usual manic happiness was just an act. He hoped it wasn’t.

He brushed the tears off her cheek and stroked her hair making soothing sounds.

“I’m sorry,” she sniffled.

“Shhh shhh it’s okay sweetheart,” he said softly. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

“She’d be disappointed,” she sniffled, gesturing at their entwined bodies. “She always said not to give sex away for free.”

Fjord frowned, “Did she want you to wait until marriage or did she want you to charge for it?” He knew questions like that would offend most people, but figured it was probably a safe thing to ask Jester. She didn’t respond to things the same as most folk he met.

“Charge for it,” Jester said quietly. “It’s how we made a living. It’s how she’s got so much. She runs a house of lady favours. I used to work there but the Traveller called me.”

Instead of responding, Fjord just pressed a kiss to her forehead and continued stroking her spine. He didn’t know what to say. He figured nothing he came up with would make a difference so instead he chose to just be there with her.

“Fjord?” she asked after a while. Her voice was quiet and cautious, so different from how it usually sounded.

“Yes darlin’?”

“Can you sing me that song you sing? The quiet sleepy one?”

Fjord nodded and softly sang to her, stroking her hair and her back until she fell asleep in his arms.


	5. Beauregard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A week later, Jester and Beau sent Fjord to go lie down in the wagon and have a nap after he dozed off while walking along the roadway. He didn’t even try to argue with them. He was exhausted. As much as he loved looking after his friends at night, the lack of sleep began to wear on him after a while.

A week later, Jester and Beau sent Fjord to go lie down in the wagon and have a nap after he dozed off while walking along the roadway. He didn’t even try to argue with them. He was exhausted. As much as he loved looking after his friends at night, the lack of sleep began to wear on him after a while.

They all knew why he was so tired, so no one complained on the days he was basically useless. They just told him to sleep and usually they’d take turns sitting with him while he did. Caleb would snuggle into him and read. Nott would steal her knitting out of his pack and work if Caleb wasn’t there. Jester they kept outside. She had too much energy and it was generally better to let her run it off during the day. Beau would sometimes meditate if she wasn’t steering the horse with Molly so she could keep an eye on him. On the rare occasion Yasha was with them, sometimes she’d sit and sharpen her sword. She usually preferred walking or driving with Molly though.

He passed out as soon as he lay down on the bedroll in the corner but his sleep was plagued by dreams of the the shipwreck, the glowing eye underwater. The creature speaking to him, its voice violently filling his mind. It wasn’t happy with him. He wasn’t moving fast enough. He hadn’t learned enough. It was taking too long to get to the Academy.

He woke with burning lungs and the feeling that he was drowning again. He turned over, coughing up more seawater than he felt should reasonably fit in a man’s lungs.

It left him feeling raw and frayed and he spent a few minutes hunched over the floor trying to catch his breath. Trying to calm the rising panic. The ground beneath him shifted and jolted and he reached out blindly and grabbed the nearest thing he could, holding on for dear life. Wind moved through his hair and he saw green waves stretching for miles over the wooden rail.

Something settled on his arm and he roughly twisted away, his falchion appearing in his hand before he could even think, dripping sea water and covered in barnacles. Every nerve in his body screamed danger. He was stilled by something grappling him from behind before he could even think to attack. He couldn’t shake it. He was pinned, pushed back to the floor with a knee in his back.

He heard shouting over the sound of blood pounding in his ears and then- music? Someone was singing the lullaby he usually sang to them. Her voice was clear, and strong enough to cut through all the noise. He vaguely noted when the shouting stopped.

He blinked and looked around. He wasn’t on a sinking ship, he was in the wagon. The waves weren’t ocean, they were tall grass. Caleb sat pressed up against the rail across from him, shaking in his boots. A few of the others stood on the ground behind the wagon staring. He dismissed the falchion and looked down, still coughing, watery eyes threatening to spill down his face.

“You done?” The singing stopped and Beau’s voice came from above him. He figured she must be the person holding his arms behind him in a vice like grip.

He nodded. His breath still felt ragged and watery. His lungs still burned and his throat tasted like the ocean.

“If I let go, you won’t try to attack Caleb again?”

Fjord’s gaze snapped to where Caleb was still pressed against the wall. The wizard looked more scared than he felt. Fjord’s stomach knotted.

“Ca-“ he coughed again. “Caleb I’m sorry.” He finally managed to say.

Caleb nodded at him but didn’t speak and Fjord worried he might have broken the careful trust they’d built between each other. Beau must’ve taken his apology for an answer because a moment later, her knee lifted off his spine and she let go of his arms.

He sat back on the bedroll, watching Caleb. Beau was asking questions and Jester was poking and prodding him but he tuned them both out until Jester thrust a jar into his hands.

“What‘s this for?” He asked, blinking his focus back.

“Oh good. You’re alive,” Beau said sarcastically.

“I am pretty sure you are turning into water,” Jester said at the same time. “The jar is so when this happens again you can catch yourself.”

Fjord sighed, “This isn’t the jar you were keeping ears in, is it?”

He was quite certain he wasn’t turning into water but by now he’d figured it was best to just let Jester do whatever she was going to do. There usually wasn’t much point in arguing with her.

“No that jar didn’t want any ears,” she said matter of factly.

“Right,” he nodded slowly. He still wasn’t certain she wasn’t just fucking with everyone when she said things like that. She seemed earnest, but he doubted anyone could truly believe that jars had wants.

“More importantly,” Beau interrupted, “care to share what’s going on with you?”

“Just another dream,” Fjord said.

“Uh uh,” Beau crossed her arms and gave him a stern look. “This is twice now you’ve come to coughing up water and this time you almost hurt someone. What is going on?”

Fjord sighed again, “I don’t rightly know. I can’t really explain it.”

“Try,” Beau said. Everything about her said she wasn’t going to let this go. While he understood where she was coming from, he really couldn’t explain why his dreams were drowning him.

“It was the shipwreck,” he said with a small voice. “I was sinkin’ to the bottom of the ocean. I felt myself drown again but then I could breathe the water. There was a massive eye in front of me lookin’ at me. Lookin’ into me. And an angry voice in my head. And then I woke up disoriented with a lungful of ocean.”

“The ship sunk because it was attacked, didn’t it?” Caleb asked, standing now. “You thought you were back on it?”

“The water, the shoutin’, the movement of the cart,” Fjord sighed. He slumped a little, his shoulders dropping and curling inward.

“The shouting was mostly you,” Beau said.

Fjord just nodded. A hand rested on his knee and he looked up to see Caleb crouched in front of him, a look of concern replacing the fear in his eyes. Fjord’s heart ached. After the threat he’d just place on everyone, he didn’t feel he deserved Caleb’s concern.

“What did the voice say?” Jester asked.

Fjord tore his eyes from Caleb’s to glance over where she was perched on the side of the cart. “I don’t think it was really what was said so much as it was the message behind it,” he said. “It’s not happy with me and I think it was tryin’ to remind me I owe it.”

“You owe it?” Beau gave him another stern look.

“I reckon it had somethin’ to do with my survivin’ the wreck when I should have drowned.”

Caleb’s hand moved to grip Fjords, “Can I see your blade?”

Fjord nodded and summoned his falchion in his free hand. He didn’t let go of it. Something in him wouldn’t let him. But he let Caleb run his hand along the blade, mumbling a few arcane words. Caleb’s eyes glowed white for a moment before returning to their usual blue. He frowned and then repeated the action, this time touching Fjord’s arm instead. As his eyes flashed a second time, Fjord felt a tingling sensation that turned into pins and needles and spread from his forearm throughout his body before then quickly dissipating. It was like when a limb falls asleep only everywhere at once.

“As far as I can tell, that’s a completely ordinary sword,” Caleb said. “No magic at all. And I can sense that you have some arcane abilities but nothing out of the ordinary. No curses or anything.”

“You sure you did that right?” Beau asked. Caleb just glared at her in response.

Fjord sighed, “Well I reckon that’s good news right?”

Beau shook her head, “No, it’s not. Good news would be knowing what’s causing the dreams and the water so we could stop it. Unless you enjoy waking up thinking you’re drowning?”

Fjord dismissed his Falchion with a wave of his hand. He wasn’t necessarily sure he agreed with Beau on that one. Yes it would be nice to never wake up with water in his lungs again, but he didn’t know the first thing about removing curses and he doubted he could afford to see anyone who did. And as much as he cared about Jester, he wasn’t sure he trusted her or her Traveller to be able to help with that either, even if he thought she could.

Eventually Beau decided to table the discussion for a later time and agreed to let Molly and Yasha continue leading the cart along the road.

—-

They didn’t make it to a town by nightfall so they pulled off the road a bit and made camp. Jester used her sickle to clear some of the tall grass so Caleb could start a cooking fire without burning the field. Yasha went off in search of an animal for dinner with Beau trailing behind her. They came back an hour later with a couple rabbits. Fjord sat with Nott peeling the carrots and potatoes they’d purchased in the last town. Molly took care of the horse.

After a hearty meal of rabbit stew, Nott and Jester took first watch up in the wagon and the rest of the group slept scattered around the dwindling fire. Fjord had trouble falling asleep. Every time he shut his eyes, he saw the wreck again.

The crunch of dried grass beside his face stirred him from his restless sleep a few hours later. He opened his eyes to find Beau crouching in front of him.

“Our watch?” He grumbled.

She nodded and held her hand out to pull him to his feet. He stretched and followed her to the wagon. They sent Nott and Jester to bed and Beau ran herself through a series of stretches and slowed down fight moves before she perched up on the rail, looking ready to launch into action at any moment.

It amazed him how lethal she was. He had an impressive weapon he could summon at any time but she was an impressive weapon. Her motions were fluid and deliberate. Watching her, he could understand why she was usually able to pluck arrows from the air before they pierced her. She made it look easy, though he knew the routine wasn’t from watching Jester try to clumsily copy her.

He pulled his spindle out of his pack and started absently drafting roving and letting it spin while he kept his eyes on their surroundings. Aside from chirping insects and the rhythmic whisper of wind through the grass, it was silent.

“Can I ask you something?” Beau asked him after a while.

Fjord parked the spindle between his knees and looked up at her. She’d fallen out of her defensive perch and was leaning over her knees with her arms crossed. She rubbed a hand up and down her arm nervously but looked him in the eye.

“Shoot,” he said.

“Who did you lose?”

He tucked his spinning back into his pack and roughly ran his fingers through his hair before rubbing his face.

“That’s-“ he stopped himself and took a breath, letting his shoulders drop. “They’re still alive,” he said after a minute. He didn’t want to talk about it but he didn’t want to lie to her either.

Beau gave him a puzzled look, “Just it seems like you’re trying to compensate for losing someone with the way you look out for everyone else.”

“That’s a fair and not entirely inaccurate assessment of the situation.”

“So if the people you lost aren’t dead, why can’t you just go back to them?” she asked.

Fjord sighed and ran his hands through his hair again, “It’s a little more complicated than that.”

Beau nodded and turned to look out at the field behind her. He was sure she couldn’t actually see anything but the stars and moons overhead. After Jester got distracted drawing a few too many nights on watch though, the group agreed that watch shifts would consist of two people. So Beau and Caleb would frequently stay up for watch even though they couldn’t see.

Fjord traced one of the carvings Jester must’ve made at some point in the side of the wagon and looked out over the field. There wasn’t a whole lot out there. He could make out the wind pushing waves through the tall grass and a herd of aurochs a little ways off and a couple of large birds up in the sky, but nothing seemed to be approaching the group.

“You know you can open up to us too, right?” Beau said without looking over at him. “We all lean on you, and far as I can tell, you seem to get something out of that. You know, aside from the sex Jester and Caleb and I assume Molly are giving you. But you can talk to us if you want to.”

Fjord nodded, but he didn’t say anything. He was a little lost in his own thoughts. The day’s events replayed in his head along with the shipwreck and his dream. He worried about Caleb, worried that the wizard wouldn’t come to him next time he needed looking after, wouldn’t trust Fjord not to hurt him.

“How did that happen, by the way?” Beau asked.

He turned to her looking for clarification.

“Caleb and Jester and Molly,” she specified. “How did you manage that?”

Fjord gave her a look that said he wasn’t discussing his bedroom activities and said, “I’d suggest you just ask Yasha if you want to sleep with her.”

Beau’s eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms but he could faintly make out a blush rising up her cheeks. She opened her mouth like she was going to say something and then shut it again.

“How did you know?” She finally asked.

“Beau, you’re not exactly subtle.”

Beau made an irritated huffing sound. “That why you never tried to sleep with me?” She asked.

He sighed and rubbed at his face, “Did you want me to?”

She wrinkled her nose in disgust and shook her head. He wasn’t really offended by it. He’d expected that to be her answer.

“That’s why,” he said, pointing at her expression. “Look, I’m here for whatever you need. If it’s just someone close by while you’re sleepin’, I can do that. If you need a cuddle or someone to tell you it’ll be alright, I can do that too. But if you want my advice, I reckon talking to Yasha about how you feel would be the best plan of action.”

Beau nodded and got up, moving to sit next to him. She arranged herself so she was leaning back against his side. He raised a brow in surprise but didn’t say anything as he moved his arm to wrap loosely around her waist. Her head rested on his shoulder and the remainder of their watch was spent in companionable silence.

—-

Fjord went over to wake Molly when it was his turn to take watch, leaving Beau to wake Yasha. He knelt down beside the tiefling and gently stroked his hair while calling his name softly.

Molly stirred and made a few confused grumbling sounds before blinking his eyes open and curling his mouth into a lazy smile.

“Well aren’t you a lovely wake up call,” he said sleepily. He sat up and stretched slowly, yawning

Fjord chuckled and grabbed one of his hands to help him up.

“My watch?” Molly asked.

Fjord nodded, “We didn’t spot any trouble. There’s birds in the area and a herd of aurochs, but they stayed clear.”

“Good,” Molly stepped into Fjord’s space and pressed a kiss into his jaw before turning to leave. He smacked Fjord with his tail as he walked away.

Fjord stood by Molly’s bedroll a moment, blinking in surprise before sighing and wandering over to where he’d left his things. Caleb was curled up under his blanket, snoring softly. Fjord looked over to where Caleb’s things were on the other side of the fire to find Nott watching him. She nodded at him and curled back up with Caleb’s belongings. He gave her a quick nod in return and gently climbed in behind Caleb, trying not to wake him as he wrapped his arms around his sleeping friend.

Caleb grumbled a little and rolled over in his arms but didn’t seem to wake up. Fjord couldn’t say if he managed to fall asleep that night, but he did at least curl up and close his eyes for a few hours.


	6. Interlude: Fjord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fjord had secrets. Caleb understood that. He understood freezing up, keeping people at a distance, waking from nightmares of things you’ve done to escape what you’ve been through. He understood blaming yourself for reacting to fear.

Fjord had secrets. Caleb understood that. He understood freezing up, keeping people at a distance, waking from nightmares of things you’ve done to escape what you’ve been through. He understood blaming yourself for reacting to fear. 

Fjord had scared him earlier when he called his blade, but he didn’t hurt him. Beau made sure of that. And maybe he was an idiot or a masochist or just had a faulty sense of self preservation, but he still trusted Fjord wouldn’t hurt him.

By the look in Fjord’s eyes when he grabbed his hand earlier though, Fjord didn’t think he deserved that trust. Caleb understood that as well.

So when he woke up from another nightmare, he wandered over to Fjord’s bedroll and crawled under his heavy wool blanket. Fjord wasn’t there of course; it was his watch. But his things smelled like him and that was enough to lull Caleb into a more restful slumber. He woke briefly when Fjord crawled in behind him but just turned towards him and nestled closer and fell back asleep.

In the morning, he woke well before Fjord did. The sun had just come over the mountains far to the east, bathing the grassland in long shadows and golden light. Whispy pink and purple clouds drifted along the changing sky. To the west it was still dark inky blue and he could see the stars.

A few of the others were all up as well. Beau was running herself through a series of martial arts movements, the first set incredibly slowly and then repeating it each time a little faster until she was a blur of motion. Molly and Yasha were still keeping watch at the cart. Both Jester and Nott were still asleep.

Fjord curled around him, snoring softly, his face relaxed and peaceful. Caleb pressed a kiss to his forehead and carefully extracted himself so he could sit up. He picked his spellbook up and began flipping through the pages, deciding which spells he thought might be most useful for the day.

Fjord snuggled back closer to him as he settled, resting his head in Caleb’s lap. Caleb began absently combing his fingers through Fjord’s hair, humming to himself while he read his spells.

A little ways into his reading, he felt Fjord begin to stir. He closed the book and looked down at him.

“Mornin’ gorgeous,” Fjord mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Don’t stop on my account.”

“It’s not important,” Caleb said.

Fjord frowned up at him and raised a brow. Caleb stopped stroking his hair and traced his lips with a finger. Fjord parted his lips and licked him before sucking his finger into his mouth. It was electric, like casting and releasing a larger spell. Caleb closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking back down at Fjord who was now wearing a shit eating grin.

“That how you want to play this?” Caleb asked him. “Because Beau is literally right over there.”

“Mmm fair point,” Fjord said. “I’ll wait ‘til I get you alone.”

Caleb felt himself flush. “I did want to talk to you though,” he said.

“About yesterday I assume?” Fjord raised an eyebrow at him and sat up, groaning. He stretched out his spine and began rubbing his neck. “I don’t know how Beau and Molly can prefer sleepin’ on the ground,” he grumbled.

“Want me?” Caleb asked, holding his hands out towards him.

Fjord shook his head, “Naw it’ll loosen itself.”

Caleb slipped his hand around the back of Fjord’s neck anyways and pulled him in for a soft kiss. When they broke, Fjord cupped Caleb’s face and pressed their foreheads together. Caleb closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Yeah,” Caleb said. “About yesterday.”

Fjord backed away, separating himself from Caleb and sat cross legged in front of him. Caleb reached out and grabbed his hand, holding it tightly. He could feel Fjord trying to distance himself, close himself off.

“I’m sorry Caleb,” Fjord said. “I didn’t mean-“

“I know,” Caleb cut him off. “I’m not upset with you, though I know you think I should be. I am concerned though.”

Fjord sighed and stared down at his hands. He called his blade forth, sitting it in his lap and ran his fingers along the handgrip.

“I know it must sound like I’m lyin’ but I really don’t know what’s happenin’ to me,” he finally said. His voice was soft and edged with fear.

“Look at me,” Caleb said.

Fjord tore his eyes away from the blade and looked up at him. Caleb recognized the terrified, manic look in them from seeing his own reflection every so often. Caleb reached out and cupped Fjord’s cheek, stroking his hand over Fjord’s stubble.

“I believe you.”

Fjord let his head fall into Caleb’s hand and closed his eyes a moment. He took a shuddering breath and turned his head to press a kiss into Caleb’s palm.

“Can you promise me something?” Caleb asked.

Fjord looked up at him, “Depends what it is.”

“Can you promise me you’ll come talk to one of us when you need to?”

Fjord sighed and pulled back, staring at the grass between them. Caleb could practically see the gears in his head turning, trying to come up with a way to avoid promising that. “Like how you talk to me when there’s something wrong?” he finally said, giving Caleb a pointed look.

“Oi, lovebirds,” Molly interrupted them before they could finish their talk, “We’re packing up. Want to make it to the next town by nightfall.”

Fjord looked over in Molly’s direction, swore under his breath and got up. Caleb watched as he began hastily packing up his blanket and bedroll and then walked away to load it on their cart. He sighed and followed behind.

He had to admit that Fjord had a point. Of the group, he and Jester had been the most forthcoming about their pasts. Caleb had gracelessly dodged every question Beau had thrown his way so far. He liked visiting Fjord when he needed comfort because he didn’t push him for answers.

Fjord didn’t push him for anything. If Caleb offered himself, he happily took him, but he never initiated anything and always asked permission before he did anything, even if it had already been implicitly given. If Caleb said no, the subject was immediately dropped and Fjord didn’t question him. Caleb was still getting used to that.

He was also still getting used to how gentle Fjord was with him. He’d resigned himself to accepting that his partners would be pushy and rough, no matter what he said beforehand and that there wasn’t much point in establishing boundaries when they were more than likely to be immediately crossed anyways. He’d come to expect that his partners would hurt him for placing himself in their hands and learned to shut down and distance himself from the experience if necessary. Usually they’d take what they wanted and leave him sticky, sore, and shaking when they finished and he could clean up and put himself back together. He preferred that to the ones who stayed, fell asleep in his bed, sometimes still on top of him, where they’d made themselves unwanted.

But Fjord wasn’t like that. Caleb almost commented on it after, but he’d seen the look in Fjord’s eyes when he asked him not to hurt him and didn’t want to deal with having that conversation. It wasn’t one that had gone particularly well in the past anyways. He’d had friends and lovers both tell him he shouldn’t have put himself in that position, should’ve been more careful, should’ve been more adamant about his limits, should’ve fought back. Should’ve, should’ve, should’ve.

That wasn’t so hard to hear. It’s not like the thoughts didn’t cross his mind regularly. What was worse was the ones that would repeatedly interrupt him to tell him he didn’t need to talk about it if he didn’t want to. Because they never meant that, not the way they said it. What they meant was they didn’t want to hear it.

No, it was best he didn’t tell Fjord.

—-

The next “town” could barely be called that. It had two streets and one tavern. They arrived about an hour after nightfall. Caleb had spent most of the ride there in the wagon, some sitting with Nott who’d developed a fascination with the horses and wanted to hold the reins, and some in the back reading and taking notes in his spellbook.

The tavern only had one room available. Beau grumbled about that but Caleb thought it might do Fjord some good to be surrounded by his friends. He shared his thoughts with Molly and Jester who helped him move the beds together after dinner while Fjord was washing the dirt from the road off himself.

When he came back he raised a brow, “Well this is new.”

Jester looked up from her sketchbook in the corner. “We’re all sharing you tonight,” she said, like that was a completely normal thing to do.

“Oh you are, are you?” he gave her an indulgent smile before giving Caleb a questioning look.

“I’m sleeping on the floor,” Beau said, laying her bedroll out beside the bed. “There’s no way we’ll all fit and I’m so not okay with being stabbed by someone’s horns.”

“The rest of us are sharing,” Molly said, running his hand across the back of Fjord’s bare shoulders. “Let us take care of you,” his voice dropped suggestively and he winked.

Caleb smiled as he watched Fjord’s face flush a darker green. It really was adorable how flustered he got whenever sex was brought up. He definitely knew what he was doing, and once he started, he was very good at pulling Caleb apart, and from what Jester had shared with everyone who’d listen, her as well. But he seemed so clearly surprised by the suggestion every time, as if he didn’t think he deserved the attention.

“Gross,” Beau complained from the floor. “If you guys are planning to start that shit, then I’m sleeping in the bar.”

“Nobody’s startin’ anythin’ tonight,” Fjord reassured her.

“Fine,” Jester said, clearly exasperated. “Now get in the beds so we can all sleep.”

He gave her an amused smile and did as she asked. Caleb crawled in behind him, spooning him and Jester put her things down and launched herself at the bed, landing on Fjord’s other side with Yasha tucked in behind her, facing the other way towards where Beau was set up. Nott curled up on the end of the bed like she did when it was just her and Caleb. Mollymauk snuggled in behind him, draping his arm over him to rest a hand on Fjord’s hip.

“This okay?” he asked Caleb softly. Caleb nodded in response, snuggling closer into Fjord.

“Thank you,” Fjord said. “This is mighty nice.”

It was a cozy fit and it took a while for them all to fall asleep, but they eventually drifted off to the sounds of each other's breathing.


	7. Yasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next time Yasha knocked on Fjord’s door, her hair was undone and clean. He hadn’t seen it down before. It was usually dreaded and braided back off her face. He liked how it looked down though, curly and soft, hanging past her hips. She gave him a shy smile and stepped inside when he wordlessly held the door open for her.

The next time Yasha knocked on Fjord’s door, her hair was undone and clean. He hadn’t seen it down before. It was usually dreaded and braided back off her face. He liked how it looked down though, curly and soft, hanging past her hips. She gave him a shy smile and stepped inside when he wordlessly held the door open for her.

“You can braid hair right?” She asked.

“I can,” he said.

“Good,” she walked past him and placed a handful of hair ties, some black thread, a blunt needle, and a comb on the bed and sat down cross legged on the ground beside them.

Fjord just watched her for a moment and then wordlessly sat on the bed behind her, bracketing her shoulders with his knees. He picked up the comb and a section of her long hair and began to gently detangle it.

“How do you want it done?” he asked her after a while.

“Oh, you know, just however,” she shrugged. “I need it mostly off my face.”

He nodded and started sectioning off her hair to try to braid it similarly to how it was before. She gave a contented hum and leaned back into his legs as he worked on a larger braid that ran diagonally across the front of her head and coiled into a bun at her crown.

“I won’t press,” he said softly, “but if you want to talk about it, I’m all ears.”

“About what?” She asked.

“Whatever brought you here.”

She shook her head, “I’d rather take my mind off it.”

“Fair enough.”

He hoped whatever she was trying not to think about wasn’t too serious, though he figured the fact she came and sought him out spoke volumes. He wasn’t sure Molly even knew that much about her. Instead of worrying over it though, he fell into a rhythm, his fingers deftly weaving her curled hair into a multitude of plaits and stitching them in an elaborate coil on the top of her head. He left a couple down to frame her face and the back portion of her hair loose. It was the kind of hair style his little sisters would’ve called princess hair, though on Yasha it looked more fierce than elegant.

When he finished, she violently shook her head back and forth and then hit the bun with her hand a few times to make sure it was secure enough. Seemingly satisfied with it, she pulled herself up, doused the lamp, and climbed into his bed beside him.

“You going to join me or just act confused?” She asked him, settling under the blankets with her back to him, wiggling a little, and then tossing her pants onto the ground. Her shirt followed quickly after and she lay on her stomach, arms folded under her head.

Fjord didn’t know what the rules were here. He wasn't sure if she was looking for anything or just trying to get a comfortable sleep. He didn’t know where Beau’s feelings fit into this either, or if she’d even spoken to Yasha yet. So he climbed under the blankets, trying to make sure he didn’t catch a glimpse of her naked body, and left about a foot of space between them.

She grumbled and moved closer, so her side was touching him. The blankets shifted down, exposing her tattoo covered back. They were the same woad blue as the one on her chin and he was tempted to trace their patterns but resisted the urge.

“I don’t want sex tonight, I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet,” she said, still facing away from him, “but would you mind holding me?”

“Not at all,” he answered, sliding one arm under her head and twining his fingers with hers. The other he let run up and down her spine. “These come with a story, or you just like how they look?” He asked.

“Bit of both,” she said. “Not for tonight though.” She turned a little, tucking the sheets around herself and leaned into him.

He nodded, tucking her head under his chin and continued absently tracing the lines over her shoulders, eventually falling asleep to the sound of her even breathing.

—-

He awoke to the sound of someone picking his lock, and Yasha’s body half on top of his, still sleeping. She began to stir when the door creaked open, stiffening and reaching for her greatsword.

“Wait,” he whispered to her. And then slightly louder he called, “Nott?”

“Shit!” Said her anxious, high pitched voice from the doorway. “You weren’t supposed to wake up.”

“The fuck?” Yasha mumbled and rubbed her face against Fjord’s chest.

At the same time Fjord said, “It’s fine Nott, just come in and close the door.”

“It’s okay, I can go. I didn’t mean to interrupt whatever you were doing,” Nott said quickly.

“Sleeping,” Yasha grumbled.

Fjord made a quick mental note that she was adorable and grumpy when woken up before reassuring Nott that it was fine and she could come in.

She nodded and padded over to the bed. Yasha made no indication she was going to get off him, and he wasn’t strong enough to move her, so he tried to shuffle out from under her. She grumbled something and held on to him tighter and the headboard started glowing faintly.

Nott climbed up on his other side and sat by his hips. “I brought you something,” she said. “Wait, is she naked?”

“You didn’t need to get me anythin’,” Fjord said before he gave her a stern look for her question “But before we get to that, Nott you know the things that happen in my room are between me and whoever is in my room, right?”

“Does Jester know that?” Nott asked. “I won’t tell anyone what I saw, but she has a lot of pictures in her sketchbook that she was showing off to Molly and Beau.”

Fjord ran his hands roughly through his hair a few times and sighed. “If she wants to share her business, then she’s welcome to, but I think both Yasha and I would appreciate if you keep this to yourself, okay?”

“Like how you haven’t told Caleb about the scarf?” Nott nodded. “I can do that.”

“Please do,” Yasha mumbled into Fjord’s shoulder.

Fjord began slowly stroking his fingers up and down her spine, winding them around the vertebrae in circles. Yasha hummed against him.

“Did you want to work on your scarf tonight?” Fjord asked. “It’s in my pack. I’d get it for you but,” he trailed off and gestured to Yasha.

“I’m comfy and not moving,” she said.

“No I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys,” Nott said. “I just wanted to drop off the thing I got you while you were sleeping, but then I woke you up so it’s not a surprise now but here you go.” She handed him a small tablet loom, complete with an assortment of square and hexagonal cards. It was built out of a sturdy hardwood and lacquered to produce a high protective shine. And it was far more beautiful than anything he or his sisters had ever owned.

He felt tears prick the back of his nose and stopped rubbing Yasha’s spine, “I-I don’t know what to say, Nott,” he choked out. “This is- this is too much.”

“You said if you had one, you could do some weaving,” she said. “And I thought since I’m using your only needles, maybe you’d like it? So when I come here to work on Caleb’s scarf, you have something to do when you decide you’re done playing with my hair?” She picked at her bandages while she spoke and he thought maybe she was worried he wouldn’t like it.

“Come here,” Fjord put the tablet on the bedside table and waved her closer, pulling her in for a hug when she let him. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her hair. “I love it,” he whispered.

Nott snuggled against him for a moment, before pulling away. “I should go before Caleb gets worried,” she said, eyes darting towards the door.

Fjord nodded, “Thank you, that was- you really didn’t have to do that. The loom is beautiful.”

Nott gave him a bright smile and hopped off the bed, slipping quietly out the door. Fjord picked the loom back up and admired it, running his fingers over the smooth wood.

“You’re just full of surprises,” she mumbled. “She always break in like that?”

“I’ve given up tryin’ to get her to knock. Long as she doesn’t steal my shit, I’m fine with it,” he said, putting the loom back on the nightstand and turning to look at her. Her hair draped over the pillow behind her, a cascade of greyscale waves, the bedsheets dipping down around the small of her back. He traced a finger up her spine and felt her shiver, so he pulled the blankets back up. “This is probably the most compromisin’ thing she’s walked in on, and it’s really not all that compromisin’.”

“Molly says he’s got her only stealing from grumpy people,” she told him. She gestured towards the loom. "She probably stole that though."

Fjord chuckled, “Explains why Beau’s things go missin’ so often.”

“Mmm.”

The light coming from his headboard dimmed before winking out and Yasha shifted against him, wrapping her leg between his and wiggling herself into a more comfortable position on his chest. He let his other hand fall on her waist and told himself he’d ask her about the magic she apparently had in the morning.

He listened to her breathing grow deeper and thought about his family back home and his new family he was building here. He hadn’t expected to love the people he was travelling with, or that they would care about him just as much. It made his heart feel full and tears come to his eye. He turned his face away from Yasha and let them fall silently, thankful for the first time in a long time for the hand he’d been dealt.

She was gone before he woke up.


	8. Mollymauk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The knock came before he even finished removing his armour, followed immediately by the sound of his door opening. Molly stepped into his room, closing and locking the door behind him.

The knock came before he even finished removing his armour, followed immediately by the sound of his door opening. Molly stepped into his room, closing and locking the door behind him. Fjord looked up from the buckles of his armour and smiled.

“Need a hand with that?” Molly asked, slowly approaching him. His movements reminded Fjord of a cat stalking its prey, though there was nothing menacing in them. He was just intent, focused on Fjord in a way Fjord wasn’t used to.

“I’m almost done,” Fjord said. “Everythin’ okay?”

Molly batted Fjord’s hands out of the way and began unbuckling what was left of his armour, placing each piece gently on the ground. When he finished he moved away and sat on Fjord’s bed, watching him intently. “If you’re actually not interested, it’s fine,” he said slowly, “but a few weeks ago I believe I propositioned you and you didn’t actually respond.”

“You were half asleep and passed out immediately after offering,” Fjord said. “I didn’t want to assume.”

“A gentleman,” Molly’s eyes twinkled. “You’re not accustomed to asking for it unless it’s offered, are you?”

Fjord shrugged. Molly was really good at reading people and he wasn’t interested in being analyzed. “Is that what you’re here for?”

“If you’re interested,” he said again. “If not, that’s fine.”

Fjord didn’t have to think about it. He’d thought about it plenty since Molly first brought it up, and Jester’s drawings and assumption that they were already fucking didn’t help matters. He walked up to Molly and stepped between his legs, tucking a hand under his chin so he was looking up at Fjord. Molly’s tail twitched on the bed and he settled his hands on Fjord’s waist.

“What are your limits?” Fjord asked.

“Don’t call me a demon or baby. I’m not really into the whole Daddy thing. Anything else is fine. No waste matter, and if I say no, I’m not playing around,” Molly said quickly. “Yours?”

“The same, actually. And I’m not big on pain,” he replied.

Molly nodded, “Giving or receiving? Or just in general?”

“In general, though usually I’m the one givin’.” Fjord carded a hand through Molly’s curls. They were always so much softer than he expected them to be. Molly closed his eyes and leaned into Fjord’s touch.

“That how you prefer it?” Molly asked. “I like it either way.”

“Usually, yes.”

Molly leaned back on his wrists and gave him a look that Fjord couldn’t begin to parse. It quickly passed though and Molly began undressing him with his eyes, looking up from under long lashes. “I definitely don’t mind being under you,” he said.

“Mmm, darlin’ you’ll be fun to take apart.” He fisted his hair roughly and pulled his head back. Molly gasped and Fjord leaned in to kiss him. He nibbled Molly’s lips before licking into his mouth and Molly hungrily gave just as good as he got.

His hands fisted in Fjord’s tunic, pulling it up out of his waistband and sliding his hands underneath to feel Fjord’s skin. Fjord climbed onto Molly’s lap, straddling his hips and knocked Molly off balance so he fell backwards onto the mattress. He pulled his shirt off, enjoying the moan that escaped Molly’s lips.

Molly’s hands stayed on Fjord’s hips, gripping them tightly. He gasped as Fjord ground down against him. “And I thought I was the showy one,” he joked. “Gods you’re sexy.”

“What do you like?” Fjord leaned down and growled in his ear.

“Mmm well I certainly like this,” Molly gestured to Fjord. “I assume you mean more specifically though.”

“I want to know how to make your toes curl. Make you beg me not to stop. Make you scream my name,” Fjord grabbed Molly’s wrists and roughly pinned them above his head.

“Fuck,” Molly flexed in his grip, whimpering when the hold didn’t break and turned his head to expose his neck. His hips thrust up and Fjord could feel how hard he was already through their pants.

Fjord pulled his hips away, “Not until you tell me what you want.” He licked along one of the scars on Molly’s neck.

“This,” he whimpered at the loss of contact. “You. Pinning me down and filling me.”

“That is quite the image,” Fjord said. “Anything else you’re into?”

Molly paused a moment and his expression changed to something a bit more serious. “This doesn’t leave the room, right?”

Fjord backed away, pulling Molly back up and sat on the bed cross legged in front of him. He took one of his hands in his and looked him in the eye, “Darlin’ the only things that leave this room are the things you want to leave this room. I won’t share anythin’ that’s said, but if you want to, I don’t particularly mind it.”

“I’ve seen Jester’s drawings,” Molly said drily.

Fjord groaned. “That book of hers makes me nervous,” he said.

Molly gave him a wicked grin. “I certainly wouldn’t be,” he said. “She tells everyone who’ll listen that you’re good with your hands.”

Fjord chuckled. He didn’t really mind that much. He wasn’t doing anything he was ashamed of and the people he cared about already knew what he got up to behind closed doors.

He ran his thumb over Molly’s knuckles. “My point is darlin’, I won’t tell anyone what you share with me, and I won’t judge you for your desires. Tell me what you want and I’ll do my best to give it to you.”

“If you want to take control, I really would like you to pin me down. Or tie me up. Either works. I like being made to feel helpless,” Molly looked him in the eye when he spoke, not shying away from Fjord’s reaction.

“I can do that,” Fjord nodded. He looked Molly up and down. “You know, the cords on my armour match your eyes. I reckon they’d look real nice wrapped around your wrists. If you’re amenable to that, that is.”

Molly blinked his eyes closed a moment and took a deep breath. Fjord continued running his thumb over his knuckles and just watched him try to centre himself.

“I wasn’t just joking about being showy,” he said, opening his eyes again. “I know I said not to tell the others, but the thought of them coming in, seeing me like that-“ he cut himself off with a shrug, still staring down Fjord like he expected to have to defend his words.

Fjord thought for a moment. He wasn’t opposed to the idea, though it really depended who was involved and how much they were into it. Beau and Nott he’d prefer to keep out of it. Nott was just too young and Beau made it clear she wanted no part. Caleb might enjoy watching though, and Jester definitely would. Yasha, he wasn’t sure about. He didn’t say anything in response, just nodded for Molly to continue.

Molly rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “And If you’re gonna call me anything derogatory, which I’m fine with and usually enjoy, I’ll need you to make me feel cared for afterwards. Tell me I’m good, hold me, that kind of thing.”

Fjord kneeled and moved so he was right in Molly’s face, a hand under his jaw holding him steady and his mouth at Molly’s ear. “Darlin’ if I’m tyin’ you up and tellin’ you what a dirty slut you are as I fuck you, there’s no way I’m lettin’ you spend the night not curled up in my arms.”

Molly’s eyes went glassy and he stifled a moan, his hands settling back on Fjord’s hips. Fjord tore Molly’s shirt off, tossing it on the floor behind. Molly’s chest and arms were a mosaic of tattoos and scars and Fjord wanted to take his time exploring each and every one of them. He lay him down gently and began tracing the peacock feathers along his shoulder with his tongue, tasting the salt on his skin.

Molly tangled his fingers in Fjord’s hair and pulled impatiently, whimpering.

“Shhh darlin’,” Fjord said. “You’ll get what you want when I feel like you deserve it. Until then, I want you to try to be good for me.”

Molly whined and pulled his hair again. Fjord knew he was trying to get him to hold him down but he wasn’t ready to give in yet. He wanted to draw things out as long as he possibly could, gently licking and nipping his way along Molly’s collarbone. When Molly started begging him to do something, anything, that’s when Fjord gave him what he wanted.

He quickly grabbed Molly by the wrists and pinned them above his head, telling him not to move them or her wouldn’t get what he wanted for a real long time. Then he grabbed the cords from his armour and began tying his wrists together, looping the ropes around Molly’s horns as well so he couldn’t move his arms.

Molly’s breath quickened and a small moan escaped his mouth. He pulled on the restraints roughly, moaning louder when they didn’t budge.

“This okay?” Fjord asked. He checked that the ropes weren’t cutting off circulation.

“Gods yes,” Molly’s voice was rough and ragged.

Fjord kissed him and then returned to slowly exploring his body with his mouth, this time biting marks into his skin as well. Molly arched into his every touch, moaning and begging for more. Asking to be fucked, filled with his cock, his fingers, anything. Fjord eventually gave in, grabbing the bottle of oil from the side table and teasing his entrance with a finger.

Molly keened and tried to press down onto it but Fjord moved away each time he tried. “Gods you’re a pretty whore,” Fjord said. “Tied up, begging me to fill you. I reckon I could get used to this.” He slowly thrust a finger inside Molly, enjoying the way he gasped his name. It sounded almost like a prayer on his lips. Fjord wanted desperately to make him say it again.

Molly moved along with Fjord, moaning and bucking his hips, begging Fjord for more, whimpering against his lips when he kissed him. His thighs shook when Fjord added a second finger, plunging deep into him and seeking out the bundle of nerves that made his breath hitch and his head roll back.

“Fjord! Please!”

“Please what darlin’?” Fjord asked, moving his fingers slowly and kissing down Molly’s chest, pausing to tease his nipples. He deliberately wasn’t giving Molly enough to come. Moving too slow, pulling out when he started getting close, and waiting until he calmed down a little before sliding three fingers back in.

He kept him on the edge for a while, whispering into his skin how good he looked, what a slut he was, what Fjord wanted to do with him.

“More,” Molly gasped. “Fjord please!”

Fjord sucked a mark in the crease of Molly’s thigh and pumped his fingers in and out of him slowly. “You sure?” He asked. He already had three fingers deep inside him.

“I- Please,” Molly begged him. “I need-“ he cut himself off with a groan as Fjord did as he asked.

“You like feeling full? Stretched around my hand? I bet you want my whole fist inside you,” Fjord growled and gently flexed his fingers.

Molly shuddered and pulled at his restraints, trying to grind himself down on Fjord’s hand. His skin flushed a darker shade of purple and he squeezed his eyes shut. “Yes I- please!” he moaned again.

This was new territory to Fjord. He rarely got more than two fingers in a partner before fucking them, and he didn’t think anyone had ever given him more than three. He was a little unsure of his abilities, but Molly was begging him for it and gods did he want to try.

He curved his fingers around themselves and put a little more oil in his hand, slowly stretching Molly open until he thought he could ease his thumb in as well. Molly clenched around him and bucked his hips.

“Relax darlin’,” Fjord said, pressing his hips into the mattress with his free hand. “I’m gonna take care of you.”

“It’s so much,” Molly gasped. He looked completely wrecked. His soft curls were a tangled mess across the pillows and his eyes were screwed shut. His breath came in fast and ragged. His hands held onto the ropes that restrained them. He was mesmerizing to watch.

“Need to stop?” Fjord asked him, concern overriding the hunger in his voice.

Molly violently shook his head and clenched around Fjord’s hand, “Don’t you dare.”

Fjord nodded against his thigh and began slowly shifting his fingers inside him, curling them in on themselves. Molly let out a loud cry and when he paused with concern, began begging him to continue. Fjord watched as his entire hand finally disappeared into Molly, a low moan escaping his lips.

Molly was tight and hot and soft and Fjord wanted desperately to bury himself inside him. He was painfully hard in his trousers and rutted against the bed as Molly rocked himself on Fjord’s hand. He opened his trousers with his other hand and began pumping his cock.

Molly’s begging shifted to unintelligible nonsense as Fjord started slowly working his fist in and out of him. Fjord moved up his body to capture Molly’s lips in a soft kiss and whisper in his ear.

“Gods you feel so good,” he said. “You’re so good for me, darlin’. Imagine what the others would think of you, stretchin’ yourself open for me. My whole fist inside you and you’re still beggin’ for more.” His voice sounded wrecked even to his own ears. He sucked marks into Molly’s neck as Molly’s muscles began tightening around him.

Molly’s moans cut off suddenly as he came untouched, mouth open in a silent scream, back arching off the bed. It was quite possibly one of the hottest things Fjord had seen or felt. Molly’s muscles fluttered around him, holding his fist so tightly he couldn’t move it.

Fjord felt himself getting closer. He tried to hold himself at bay, but couldn’t, and spent himself all over Molly’s chest as Molly started coming down. That prompted another loud groan from Molly, who weakly tried to buck his hips. He paused his motions to catch his breath, admiring the sight of Molly tied up, still writhing against his fist, filthy with come, eyes closed and gasping for breath.

When he steadied himself, he slowly began working his fist out of Molly, uncurling his fingers so it’d be easier to slide out. Molly whimpered and shuddered, oversensitive now, but completely relaxed.

“I’m just grabbing something to clean you up, darlin’,” Fjord said softly. “I’ll be back in a moment.” He waited for Molly to nod and climbed off the bed, grabbing his waterskin and the towel he’d been using to bathe with.

He cleaned his hands off and then brought the towel to Molly, gently wiping him clean, kissing him when he writhed away from Fjord’s gentle touch. He tossed the towel on the floor and carefully untied Molly, massaging his wrists and arms  before gently lowering them.

Molly immediately curled towards him, eyes closed. “Thank you,” he whispered as Fjord wrapped an arm around him. He quickly fell asleep, exhausted from the evening’s events with Fjord stroking his hair and telling him how beautiful he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that happened. Did I wrap up all the loose ends? No, but that wasn't really ever the point of this. I have some tentative plans to write a few followup pieces. I have feelings about Jester and Caleb and Yasha both have some things they're dealing with that I'd like to explore a little more.

**Author's Note:**

> Join me on [tumblr](http://morganeilish.tumblr.com/) to flail about how much we love these idiots.


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